This post will be a lot to unpack so make sure you have a glass of wine or something to sip on lol and no distractions.
Disclaimer: There will be some spoilers so if you haven’t watched the show Bridgterton, please watch the show and then come back to read the post. Some parts of the post may only make sense if you watched the show.
Let us get into it…
Lori Harvey is the step-daughter of famous comedian, tv show host and author Steve Harvey. Her mother Majorie Harvey is an infamous hypergamous queen and deserves a post all for herself but today it is Lori’s turn to shine.
Briderton is a coming of age romance story set in England during the 19th Century Regency era. The costumes, the story line and the acting was fantastic in my opinion. I was captivated by the old world glamour and luxury of it all. Daphne Bridgerton is the main protagonist in the story. While I was watching the show, I said to myself that this young lady shows striking similarities to that of Lori Harvey and I now will go on to explain why.
THEY BOTH COME FROM HUGE SOCIETY FAMILIES
Daphne Bridgerton is the fourth child and eldest daughter of the Bridgerton clan. If I recall, she has three older brothers, a younger brother and three younger sisters. So in all it is eight of them.
Lori Harvey has six siblings in her blended family. She is the youngest daughter of the clan. Steve adopted Lori and her two siblings when he married their mother. He raised them as his own and unless I did my research, I would have thought Lori was his biological daughter. By nature of Steve’s career, the Harvey family is very powerful, especially in the black society and as each individual member continues to grow so will the influence of the entire family.
THEY BOTH HAVE STRONG MOTHERS AS THEIR BACKBONE
I have to lift my hat off to Majorie because the way she has trained Lori and presented her to the world is impeccable. Majorie and Steve are very intelligent and as a result of this are very strategic. If you know anything about social climbing which there is absolutely nothing wrong with, and you follow the journey of this family, then you must see that they have a bigger goal and plan for not only Lori but the legacy of the entire family. Many think Steve is the brains behind the operation but anyone who knows anything about families and society movements can tell you, WOMEN especially the mothers are the backbone of the family. Women are the brains and men are the brawn. Men bring in the money and the women are the fluid energy that keeps things going. When it comes to raising children, women are generally responsible.
Marjorie is the genius behind Lori’s assent and that is evident when you look at her own history. I don’t want to get too much into Marjorie’s story but she is a lady who knows the game and how to play it and she has schooled Lori to do the same.
Please watch the video below. Marjorie told Lori not to date athletes or rappers because she does not want Lori to marry these kinds of men. Even though Lori did not listen and dated within both groups, the important thing is that she has maintained the innocence of her womb. She has dated and not SETTLED, GOTTEN PREGNANT OR MARRIED the kind of men her mother advised against. Marjorie knows Lori is going to explore because she knows what it is like to be young but Marjorie has also given her the strict advice of NO BABIES UNTIL MARRIAGE. I know Marjorie is also the reason why Lori moves with such stealth after breakups. Not a peep about her exes. Lori is pure class and I know this is as a direct result of Marjorie’s influence.
“I know you just started dating this year,” she told then-18-year-old Lori. “So, how are we gonna handle that? No athletes, no rappers – we gonna go down the list.”
She also hinted that Lori should save herself for marriage.
“Always be a lady, and understand you are the prize. Don’t give yourself to anybody that is not going to be your husband. If they love you – if they really care about you, they’ll wait on you.
If this is what she says on camera, I can only imagine the kind of tea Majorie is spilling behind the scenes.
In London town, we have Daphne’s mother, Violet, who is styled as Viscountess Bridgerton, a widow who manages to keep her children together even after the death of her husband. Her influence is very strong in all aspects of their lives. She is the mother that knows everything, even when they think she doesn’t and is very perceptive. For example when she read her son Anthony’s file regarding his affair with the Opera singer. He was shook! LOL. He thought no one knew but his mother did. Violet is very strategic and understands the power that women held in that time even if it was not apparent. Another incident that stood out to me and cemented this view of her, is when they had issues with one of the fellows that wanted to marry Daphne and he was being rather aggressive even physically. He would not back down and it wasn’t for love but for her breeding and status. Even the men were strategic with their unions.
Violet wanted Daphne to end up with the Duke and this man was getting in the way. So she quickly devised a plan to rid the family of the pest. How did she do it?
Women are known to talk and she learned from the Queen that the servants (mainly women) in the households are the main perpetrators of gossiping. She used this toxic trait of women to her advantage. She invited the fellow’s mother over for tea and used her maid to get information from the maid from the other household. When her maid told her the tea, Violet said “Let us women do what we do best.” and started to talk. You know once you tell something juicy to one person, it spreads like wildfire and the information happened to be true so when the entire town found out, the fellow had to flee permanently. Reputation in those days was EVERYTHING.
I thought this power play was genius! There was no way it would lead back to them and she solved the problem. This is the perfect example of how women can use their femininity to their advantage. Violet guides Daphne but allows her to make her own decisions and actually wants her to marry for love not just security which I do think is admirable. Some mothers are savage; they do not care about the type of man they marry their daughters off to. They only care about the money.
The only thing Daphne’s mother failed to provide guidance on, is the sexual aspect of marriage, but that was common of the time period. Sex was just not spoken about and Violet tried but she could not bring herself to explain things in detail. Regardless of that snafu, in my opinion, Daphne herself understands and appreciates her mother and the lessons taught especially in preparation for her being the wife of a Duke. Daphne, despite her naivety, is able to navigate through difficulties because of her mother’s influence, guidance and support.
THEY BOTH WERE DEBUTANTES
A debutante is a young woman from an upper-class or aristocratic background who has reached the age of maturity. The family presents her to the world or society at a ball i.e. the young lady makes her debut into the world. This rite of passage had many social implications. It meant that she can now be married and was a way to show her off to the eligible bachelors and their families. As I always preach on my page, marriage is a way to secure families and if done right can take an entire family out of poverty. Marriage was sometimes about love but in aristocratic societies, it was about gaining nobility, forming allegiances and building empires i.e. FOR MONEY.
Some women got both love and money but most families pushed the women to marry for security and stability. In modern times they still have these events but I do not think there is so much of a heavy burden placed on the young ladies to be married. It must be said that some of the social rules in Bridgerton still apply in certain parts of the world but overall things are more relaxed especially here in the Western world.
The opening scene of Bridgerton is Daphne making her entrance into society. I am glad that they captured the pressure on women to carry themselves in a particular manner and the pressure to be perfect and put together all the time. This is nothing new. When Level Up coaches talk about certain principles, they are tried, tested and proven. Being elegant is a must or at least knowing when and where to be elegant especially in high society is a must. Anywhoo, I digress.
Daphne wows the entire ball and especially the Queen who calls her appearance “flawless”. This puts Daphne at the top of the pack and for the rest of the social season she is the most courted young lady. Every bachelor wants to be with the “Diamond” of the season.
Lori Harvey had her own debut at the Le Bal des Débutantes. This Paris based couture fashion event, held on thanksgiving weekend in November is the most high-profile debutante ball in the entire world! This is an INVITE only event. This means Lori was invited hunnaaay to be among the richest, most eligible young women from high-profile dynasties in various sectors, all over the globe. This cemented the Harvey’s’ status as a power family okurrrr! It might not mean anything to most people but if you follow blue blood society or know a thing or two about high society in general, then you know this is MAJOR to have a BLACK debutante on this level. Even if it was done before, every time a black woman fills certain spaces, it is cause for celebration. Again hats off to Steve and Marjorie.
So back to the ball, the whole event is based on fashion and each debutante gets a custom made gown from a couture house and if you didn’t know, not every luxury designer is considered COUTURE. Some of the dresses and jewelry are given, some loaned and some bought by the families. The year that Lori made her debut, Ava Phillipe, daughter of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe, was also part of the group. Lori wore an Eli Saab gown with Christian Louboutin shoes. As reported in the media, Lori practiced walking in her gown to ensure she did not fall and to get a handle on the fabric. Similarly to Daphne who was presented to the society by her brother, Lori was escorted to the ball by her Brother Wynton Harvey.
THEY BOTH KNOW THE DATING GAME AND HOW TO PLAY IT
If you watched the series, at first Daphne was a little slow with it and her Brother had to explain to her a couple things but eventually she caught on. When her stock was dwindling, she accepted the Duke’s plan of pretending to court each other. He wanted to keep the thirsty mothers and daughters away from him because he had no interest in marriage and Daphne knew if the Duke started courting her, that because of his status, it would put her back on top of the social scene. Her social capital would be increased and include increased suitors. Most men want the girl that every man wants. This plan worked but backfired because they both fell in love lol.
Throughout the show, Daphne is courted by many. She refuses to settle for just anyone. She is very strategic with who she aligns herself to for two reasons, she wants the best and she thinks the best is the Duke. He is battling with himself because he loves Daphne but based on his history with his father, does not want to marry nor have children. Listen this show is a hot state of affairs and I am trying not to get carried away. LOL
Now the Duke breaks off their arrangement because he knows he is holding her back from greatness, because let us face it, Daphne had her pick. She could have gotten anyone she wanted. Daphne is devastated. This is important to note. She is sad and bawls her eyes out but then gets herself together. Home girl must have tightened her corset real tight that night, because she got a lot of pep in her step and at the next social event wows everybody! From her looks to her attitude, she knew the people wanted a show and gave them one. Since Duke is a goner, Daphne, using one stone to kill 2 birds that night, gets the Duke’s attention because she is looking good and then even BETTER, upgrades to the PRINCE. Now we know she didn’t marry the Prince and the Duke is a hot mess. In real life, I would tell you run and run fast because the man had issues! The ideal situation is to marry the Prince but this is a TV show and we needed to be entertained LOL.
So the Prince continues to woo her and the Duke who said he was leaving London, now cannot bear to see her with someone else. So you know Daphne’s finessing worked! I won’t go into much more of the plot but from how Daphne maneuvers we can see she is learning how to play the game and fast lol.
Now Lori by virtue of her step-father has always had some level of popularity. Some of us know she was engaged briefly, that ended in 2017 but her name came on everybody’s radar when Meek Mill had her on his wishlist in his song ‘Going Bad’ from his Championship album. See the similarity with Daphne? For him to say that means that she is coveted by many in the industry; a trophy!
Lori wouldn’t pay Meek any mind because she was, at the time, enthralled with Trey Songz. The two posted each other on their pages and Meek confirmed that Trey asked him to remove the Lori wish list line out of his song. From seeing that protective move, you know he was really into her.
Meek tweeted: “That’s my dawg I take her off sometimes Trey my guy I can’t just be reckless Ya know 😅😅😅😅 🏆🏆she’s fire!”
Apparently when Lori was dating Trey, Future got in his feelings and commented on her ‘ducking’ away from the paparazzi cameras while she was out with Trey. I am not going to lie, it was disappointing to know that she would be interested in Future because he comes with a load of baggage but for him to continuously be dating and impregnating these women, he must be a charmer. So Trey and Lori eventually fizzled out, I remember reading that he got someone pregnant so that was the end of that.
Then the media reported her dating Justin Combs and then his father Diddy. We weren’t there so we don’t know the full story. Could she have been dating Diddy all along and Justin was the cover? Or did she really flit from son to father? Who knows and I certainly don’t care. I was just in awe of how Lori was bagging men that girls would kill for. Maybe not you and I but let us be real, she had quite a roster there. For a young girl to be dating all these men and really have them shook, I was impressed.
I didn’t expect Diddy to last long because he obviously does not seem inclined to marriage. He is still reeling from the loss of Kim Porter. Even with all the money, he is not an ideal candidate for a healthy marriage. The fact that, at his age, he has never been married, not even once is a sign that he probably will never marry. Miracles do happen but everyone knows that Diddy has issues and so for a young woman like Lori to give up the best years of her life, would not make any sense. Especially after the world watched him waste Cassie’s time. Cassie got away eventually but not without trauma. Going by what Steve says in his dating books, I can also bet any money that while Steve and Marjorie tolerated Diddy on their family vacation and all that jazz, they would have told Lori that this ain’t it.
The next major relationship was Future. I honestly thought it was a wrap for her lol. I said oh great, now she will be baby mother #100 but I underestimated Lori. We all know she deserves better and a man with so many baby mothers, especially women he doesn’t have a good relationship with, is a huge red flag. Future is a troubled man, the way he treats women is disgusting to me but they allow themselves to be treated this way so I cannot blame him. I am just happy that Lori escaped with her womb intact.
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM BOTH DAPHNE AND LORI
The first lesson we can all learn from both ladies is to ALWAYS look your best. From 19 how long, we see that appearance and how women carry themselves are important to dating and society in general. It was a given for women in Daphne’s era to attire and conduct themselves appropriately. How you look sends a clear message to the world. Take pride in your appearance. If you watched the show, the women were always getting new clothes and I am not telling you to spend your money on clothes but make changes however you can. Buy skin products, keep your hair and nails clean and neat, simplify your style, stay away from trends. Look like someone who values themselves.
Clean up your act. Some of us go through ratchet stages early in life but make sure you know WHEN you should be acting appropriate. Lori is young and I know she is a down to earth girl who hangs out with the likes of JT from the City Girls but she knows when to clean up her act. The ball is a prime example. Regardless of how you grew up, every woman should learn etiquette, feminine hobbies and how to use your feminine energy to navigate the world. If you notice on the show, the girls spent their days learning how to play instruments, writing, sewing etc. Cultivate yourself so that you make yourself more interesting. There is strength in your femininity. Harness it and use it. Stop trying to literally be a man. Lori shows us she knows how to think like one but she isn’t acting like one. She maintains her feminine mystique and we can all emulate that characteristic.
Next on the list…
BUILD A ROSTER. You should be casually dating multiple men and having them court you. NOTICE I DID NOT SAY SLEEP WITH MULTIPLE MEN. This way you do not become attached to anyone and you can comparatively see who is showing you more attention or making the most or least amount of effort. It also keeps you busy and not too available for one man. Both men and women bash Lori for DATING multiple men but that is exactly what women in their 20’s should be doing! We assume she has slept with them but unless you live in her underwear, you nor I know nothing about what she has done with any of them. Women of all ages can learn from her dating methods. She clearly has or had a roster. When she was dating Trey and Future made his ducking comments, it was because she was entertaining them both. He would not have said anything if he wasn’t in his feelings.
You know I think you are single until marriage so follow Daphne and Lori’s example, build a roster.
DO NOT CARRY BEFORE YOU MARRY
In the era that Bridgerton was based, if a woman got pregnant out of wedlock it brought shame on the entire family and also brought down the dating stock of the other women in the household. Remember Ms. Thompson from the Featheringtons? My point is made. In today’s world, the baby mama culture is widely accepted but in my humble opinion it is not a good thing. Children suffer greatly because of broken families.
This rule will spare you from a lifetime of unnecessary drama. Your womb is sacred, it brings forth another life. Women are walking miracle makers and I cannot understand how we as a collective aren’t more discerning with whose DNA we are choosing to sustain. A man who honors your virtue will not insist on having children out of wedlock. We cannot even blame the man because this is YOUR body and women are the gatekeepers to procreation. If you had children out of marriage, you know the deal. Most people do not co-parent well. When you do not have children with a man, you can move on quickly and never have to see his face again. Once you have a child with someone you are tied to them FOR LIFE. Choose wisely who you decide to bring children into the world with.
DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS
Daphne was true to herself and she knew what she wanted. She thought the best person for her was the Duke and schemed her way to getting and keeping him. As i said that would not have been my choice but it is a TV show lol. In real life, Lori is not doing anything most of us haven’t done. We have all dated bad boys at some point or men who were not good for us. She is out there exploring and figuring out what she wants and doesn’t want. More of us should be taking a cue from her and getting out there instead of watching her with envy. You may or may not have access to the caliber of men she does but you can get out there and network. The key with Lori and Daphne is that if they are not being treated how they like, they stand up for themselves. Daphne gets vocal and Lori just bids them adieu because she has another date lined up on speed dial. This is using your youth to your advantage. Dating is a numbers game. The faster you get through the No’s, the quicker you learn what you like or don’t like, what you will tolerate and you eventually garner dating experience. You can You can get out there and build your own roster of men. You do not have to settle for less.
MOVE ON WITH CLASS
In Bridgerton, when the Duke dumped Daphne, she was upset but the next time they saw each other, she moved with class. She did not show her feelings. Even if you are dying on the inside, the man does not need to know that. Be strong. It will only pump his ego if he knows you are affected by his presence or lack thereof. Daphne basically showed the Duke her worth and that she wasn’t waiting around for him because she moved on with a Prince. The best revenge is to move on and with someone who is inherently “better” than your ex, it worked because he couldn’t stand it lol.
This is what I admire most about Lori. She always moves on with class and grace. Other celebrities especially the women, are on social media ranting and raving about their ex, not Lori. She moves in silence. I personally do not think she has ever been left either. I think she is the one that dumps the men which is why they aren’t able to say anything lol. They have NOTHING over her. She says absolutely nothing and then pops out of nowhere with another eligible candidate. Lori knows her worth and I am sure her parents remind her of this everyday. It is important that women see ourselves as the prize and act accordingly. Any man who is not willing to treat you how you deserve, you should cut them off without any hesitation and move on WITHOUT the drama.
LEVEL UP IN SILENCE
Lori is obviously hypergamous but unlike other women *cough cough B. Simone, cough cough*, she does not announce her intentions to marry up. She never announces anything! She barely gives interviews and I doubt she even has any videos on her social media of her speaking. She keeps her mysterious allure. Most of us are so fascinated by her because she only gives glimpses into her life. I also appreciate how she NEVER addresses the rumours. She literally minds the business that pays her. STOP telling people what you are doing. If you are marrying up then move in silence. Practially move in silence for everything. The world doesn’t need to know your plans until it had unfolded and even then some things are best kept private. Maintain your mystery and avoid drama like the plague.
Now that Lori has moved on to Micheal B. Jordan, I know her exes are in their feelings lol. Will they last? I don’t know but I hope we all take note of how a modern woman should be dating and whether you love her, hate her or envy her, Lori is taking her step-dad’s think like a man advice and running with it.
If you made it this far, you are really a trooper lol. Thank you for your patience. To show my appreciation, I am offering my Affirmations book to you for 50% off. Use the discount code: LORI at checkout.
Until next time,