, Guide to Orgies: How to Plan an Orgy

Guide to Orgies: How to Plan an Orgy

Guide to Orgies: How to Plan an Orgy

Sex is fun. In that sense, more sex means more fun, and that is exactly what apps like Feeld or Pure are designed for — to help us have as much pleasure with other people as we crave. Annoying as it is, though, there is a whole bunch of taboos piling up halfway. While even casually getting laid frequently requires some social dancing (hey, Pure would have never been invented if it did not), there is one truly forbidden castle towering above all else, hitting dark skies with its belfries somewhere in the distant mist. With only one word written over its locked doors: orgies.

Let us pay a visit to that mansion.

To be honest, orgies as a leisure thing are nothing new to Mankind. Romans had them as part of their culture, for instance, not to name other civilizations, large and tiny, to incorporate collective sex as either casual, or festive, or religious acts of whatever they had in mind. Surprisingly enough, we nowadays might be much less liberated sexually than our ancestors had been. Isn’t that notorious?

Bottom line: if you ever dreamt of having sex with more than two partners at the same time, or being in one room with other people making love in front of you, this is a step-by-step guide to actually arriving there. So… Shall we?

Step one. What is an orgy?

Technically speaking, as the Ominous Purity Test somewhat defines, an orgy is a direct sexual activity with more than four people involved. Direct meaning that sexting does not probably count, and sexual implies that simply going to a steam house does not count either. A combination of four people having sex is defined as a little orgy, while three is typically named a threesome. We might conclude that to have a real orgy, you need at least five adults to be involved. That said, having a threesome or a little orgy is, of course, an excellent way to spend a day, too.

Step two. The variety.

What types of orgies are out there? Ah, a lot of them. Gangbang is probably the one you’ve already seen on PorhHub, that is when a few people are all having sex with one specific person, rather than with each other. 

The most casual collective sex out there, though, is indeed a group of people making love with each other, swapping partners, joining and re-joining duos and threesomes, or even forming one collective body of sexual play at some point. Let us name this, and not a gang bang, a basic orgy, for the sake of clarity. 

There is also the type of parties, like carnivals, or dancing naked in fluorescent light, that welcome sex as a lovely side-activity. These, too, might be considered orgies, or at least a means to have one in the end.

And, of course, there are those thematic get-togethers, that one might call an orgy too, even though most of the sexual activities there are typically not about intercourse. 

Swinger parties, too, fall within the margins of the definition.

There is also a huge difference between a sexual event with the people you know and one with strangers. Inviting a bunch of your buddies over to have some FWB collective is a very different experience compared to going to a club, mind it.

Step three. A look around.

There are numerous reasons why you might not want to have a friendly sex party. Sex is fun, but the consequences of a funky night might be dire due to the bunch of taboos we have mentioned earlier, and also to the fact that all those people already have an established net of social strings between them. Friends and other buddies that are normally not your sexual partners are maybe not the best of choices for an orgy unless you are really ready to see them as your sex allies later in life. Feeling unsure here? Then maybe better refrain. Ready to try it out? Hail to the courage! To not let things slip into a complex context, arrange a meeting with all your desired buddies and talk the plans over. Have some soft drinks and a sheet of paper or an iPad to keep notes.

Warning: Such a meeting might naturally result in a sexual or semi-sexual event. Well, again, lucky you. Still keep your notes, though. They might be very useful in sorting things out later and in making an episode recurrent.

Step four. A wider look

Feeling insecure about friendly sex, or simply not having enough sexually attractive comrades? That might be the perfect time to go out. That is when apps like Pure come in handy. Yes, having a collective sexual affair with the internet crowd is not such a bad thing, if you cook it well. After all, you sure have been on a Tinder date a couple of times, now imagine bringing all those matches together. Oh, has it already been a fantasy of yours? Read on.

Step five. A how-to.

Creating a worthy orgy night is not as hard as it might feel, provided everyone cares enough about safety and of healthy communications. It’s like going out, but with a number of people at the same time. Same rules apply.

        1.   Since you are the fire starter, be sure to arrange a party you would adore yourself. It is better to stay away from the activities that feel appropriate for the occasion, but do not spark a real desire or even scare you. Think of a perfect sex party, whatever that might be, and note that down. That is gonna be your proposal.

                For example, orgies do not really have to revolve around intercourses. If you feel kinky but unsure if getting laid with a bunch of strangers fits you, then here is a legitimate idea. Your best party ever might be the one where those people who did not have any sex still had just as much fun as those who did. To arrange that, simply sort out all the folks that wanna come solemnly for group sex, and keep those that are okay with hugs and stuff.

        2.  Examples of good sum-ups that would do amazing:

                          a. I’d like everyone to come over, talk a bit, have some regular fun together, and then maybe drift towards sexual things

                          b. I want to meet a bunch of total strangers in the bunker and have a wild gang bang

                          c. There are a few sexual kinks I would love to try, and that is the main part

                          d. Let us all dress as nuns and have a collective heresy in the woods, in the name of love

        3.   Open your best favorite app, let people there know you are up to a collective by rolling it out straight to your profile. Match someone you fancy. Making sure they are cool, send them your beloved whitepaper and see if they are okay with your ideas. Once you have enough accomplices, schedule a meet-up.

       4.   Unless the event you’ve drafted implies some action with total strangers, we strongly suggest you get acquainted before anything happens. Hitting a bar or a picnic together will sure do good. You have a lot to talk over and to get familiar with each other before you sail out.

       5.  One thing to talk over, by the way, is where to have all the fun. If hitting your cozy flat is not an option, consider renting something out on Airbnb, or checking out a sex hotel nearby. The latter may be not a budget option but those places often do have a whole-night rent that is heavily discounted. Choose a place smartly:

                 a. Your home might feel like the best choice ever if you are okay with random people having sex with other random people in your own kitchen — or your bedroom. 

                 b. Another thing to consider is neighbours. Are they cool with some queer folks having a massive orgasm next door? Or might they want in?

                 c. Numbers matter. Sometimes, having ten people on one bed naturally skyrocket hugs, petting and on we go, as they are already clustered together nicely. That’s where many home parties take off.

                d. Alternatively, having no extra space might lead to embarrassment and dizziness. A bigger house with multiple rooms is a great option too.

                e. Having the right vibe is a deal-breaker. Lights and music are a must, and, in terms of equipment, that is something that kink hotels are typically packed with. 

                f. That mentioned, orgy absolutely does not have to be a night thing. Starting mid-day and having the main part happen later tonight, with enough time for everyone to dissolve back to their places and have a good sleep afterward is an amazing approach to having fun that won’t take you down the next day. Okay, at least not totally down.

      6. Crowdsource! Someone might bring speakers or a projector (having some fancy porn over your wall is a lovely touch to a sex party, note that). Someone else might offer an extra costume if you are into the dress-ups. Food and drinks are easier purchased collectively, either. And, some might volunteer to DJ.

Step five. Dining in.

We eat and we drink, that is a fact. Toss in fruits, cheese, and anything that is both healthy, light, and could be eaten as it is. You won’t have much time for cooking, but going around hungry is not all that horny, so better prepare more than less. The extras would make a fine breakfast.

Now, the drinks. Most of us are not able to socialize fast without some grease, alcohol being one legally and socially acceptable option. A few notes on that:

        1.  Booze is a drug, and kind of a heavy drug if we are to believe the scientists. So, if there are any other socially unifying substances legal in your homeland, consider them instead. We strongly advise you to stay away from anything that is prohibited, okay? Collective practices are a vulnerable thing, in a way. Do stick to legal stuff, please.

       2.  Alcohol is a fast-acting antidepressant, which means it makes you slightly high in no time. Which is a cool thing, but more intakes finally lead to a very opposite effect. Hence the best practice is to stick to long drinks and lighter stuff like quality wine, saving your favorite single malt for another occasion.

       3. Again, dosage-dependent, ethanol makes erections go away. So having less alcohol at a sex party is always better than having some extra.

       4. Drunk people tend to say Yes to things they would normally say No to while sober. And that is not a good thing. It is also where all the unprotected sex happens unexpectedly. So whatever booze you bring in, please make sure that nobody gets even close to the drunk state.

       5. Last but not least, the more you intake, the more your ability to short-term memorize things is inhibited. That is why we sometimes have no idea of what we did last Friday at Bob’s place. We did not forget those events — rather, our memory of them never took shape in the first place. That often goes in hand with uncontrolled aggressive behavior, which is something no one wants while having a sex party.                                                                                                             

       6. To avoid all of this, again, have less rather than more bottles in stock, and stick to lighter and longer drinks. That will do good. After all, you only need some extra oil to glide you off into the kinky things.

Step six. Staging the fun.

If you predict you’d feel slightly embarrassed looking at those ten carefully picked strangers next to you all at once, then rest assured — they will be probably dazzled either. There are plenty of rituals to get into a duo, but how do we begin a collective action? Not so hard, take our word. Here are a few ideas to pick:

Having a separate room for sex, with dimmer lights and chill music, would ease everyone out. Say, kissing and undressing are great everywhere, but the rule tells you to go to a special place for something hotter. Name it “A Love Chamber“ or a “F*ck Room“ with a bright note on the door. Now, you can legitimately have small talk in the rest of the space while letting someone slowly remove your top. Phew.

If everyone is okay with that, you could agree to have a naked dress code. It’s like in Hell, but one must discard clothes, not hopes, upon entry. If that feels too unprotected, also agree on the possible minimum or apparel. Hint: it does not have to be panties that stay on. Having some funky socks, or a hat, while being completely nude, does the trick too. Just make sure that everyone is following the same rule and you are good to go.

Make a no-sex time to feel okay with, well, not having sex right away. Like, no undressing until the bells ring once. Then, no intercourses until the bells ring for the second time. Approach your party as Shakespear would treat his great plays. After all, all the world’s a stage, your bedroom being no exception.

Nice low lights, music, and all that stuff would aid, too. As well as plenty of spaces to comfortably land on naked. 

       Hint: try red, violet, and fluorescent lights. That rocks the scene!

Step seven. Agreement, protection, and STDs

Sex is fun, which essentially means that it is a risky stuff. Could you dream of a single thing that rocks while being 100% safe? Hardly. That is exactly why we need safety in the first place.

To counter the risks, consider a few things. First, the “Yes is yes, everything else is a No“ rule is the best thing ever. Do announce it during meet-ups and at the party. Please remember: where “No“ is not accepted, “Yes“ rapidly declines in value. 

Second, check out a few safety tips on getting laid with new partners. They will be a great help along the way.

Third, STDs are a weak spot of every orgy. If you are unfamiliar with the topic, this TEDx video is a great start. Then, consider going through our cherished checklist. And finally: hey, no fluid exchange means no transmitted diseases, right? Hard as it might seem, it is actually quite attainable.

Have plenty of latex gloves around the space, as well as condoms and lubes. Make everyone wove they would use those one-offs extensively, each and every time, or the Hell awaits. Use latex tissues or cut condoms for cunis, gloves for your hands, and condoms for everything else. If you feel unsafe being penetrated by a living human, go for a dildo instead, or for anything that works as one, also wrapped in a condom. Note that kissing is also a fluid exchange, and it is perfectly okay to say No to this, too. Just for an orgy time.

Finally, if someone’s presence bothers you, no matter why, it is perfectly okay to ask this person to leave. You would terminate a date if something started to feel odd, right? Consider an orgy a massive date, kind of. 

Last step. Couples

It would be extremely sad if orgies were a type of fun meant for single folks only. Being in a relationship does not imply you must stay away from collective play, but there is something extra to take care of. Also, that means that you are about to open your relationship for at least one night, so please go through our Quick Guide to an Open Relationship together with your significant other to double-check it’s your cup of tea.

Hopefully, being with someone and dreaming of an orgy does not imply you want to be with that someone no more. If yes, consider taking care of your relationship, or ending your relationship well, before visiting a gang bang hand in hand with your SO. 

Even if walking out is not on your agenda, having a supportive discussion on why you need to get involved in an orgy together, and what experiences you are looking forward to, would clear a lot of possible debris between you. It is also a fun way to build up trust, so go for it with open hearts.

Happy with your answers? Cool. Now ask yourself and your partner(s), if you are okay witnessing each other having sex with someone else outside of your union? Now, same, but in your beloved private bedroom? Sure draw some extra boundaries here if all the answers are not a desperate “Yes“. Like, “Please ask me every time before you feel like getting laid with someone“. Or: “Let us please act as strangers during the whole night“. Anything that makes you happy and does not make your partner compromise anything does well.

Also, consider that witnessing your partner drift into some happy sexing without you might suddenly feel very lonely, if not painful. The hard thing is, you won’t be able to immediately share that with your SO as at this very moment they would be busy having their own fun. Make sure you know how to comfort yourself in such a case, and if that feels like too tough a challenge, then going to orgies together is probably not your thing. 

Well then… Keep calm and enjoy each a personal orgy. Bon courage!

A lovely video by Peter Serafimovitz on how to arrange an orgy: 

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