Becoming Codependent No More Where the Change Happens

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COVID dating could’ve been a challenge last year, but online dating sites, Facetime, and UberEATS changed what was possible when getting to know someone. After years of researching aspects of relationships and attending events to address fears and insecurity, navigating a changing landscape of what we could do and where we could go was simply part of the journey. Camping trips to Baker Lake replaced air travel. The living room was the dance floor, and conversations about what we liked to do in “normal” times, like attend live concerts or sporting events, were all we could do to reveal what our typical actions were like to the other.

I record parts of podcasts using the Voice Memos app on my iPhone as a “note taking” process and revisit helpful content and practical recommendations that would be beneficial to review from time to time. Relistening to the ManTalks Podcast a few times, it started to make more sense, paired with reading about codependency. Terri Cole points out in describing codependency, “The major driving factor is that it’s a covert or overt bid for control. Because we don’t want you making that terrible mistake. Because we know you’re better than that.

Because we don’t want you going back with that stupid girlfriend or stupid boyfriend because they were terrible for you. Because we know you could be doing more with your life. Because we know that you’d be better for you if you were healthy, so you need to lose 20 pounds. It’s the fear. ” From there, I began my next step forward. Codependency doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.

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Working together is the best way for humans to survive and thrive in society. I believe learning about codependency is doing work to develop a healthier relationship with our partners and ourselves. I’m enjoying learning about these behaviors I don’t know about and realize I’m not alone in the struggle of being human. The difficulties I’m experiencing, someone else has experienced to some degree, and someone else will share some similarities. But after one book and a few online searches, where do I go from here?”Because co dependency is usually rooted in a person’s childhood, treatment often involves exploration into early childhood issues and their relationship to current destructive behavior patterns. Treatment includes education, experiential groups, and individual and group therapy through which co dependents rediscover themselves and identify self defeating behavior patterns.

Treatment also focuses on helping patients getting in touch with feelings that have been buried during childhood and on reconstructing family dynamics. The goal is to allow them to experience their full range of feelings again.