I had no clue I was courting a covert narcissist, largely because my boundaries had been whittled absent to nothing by the feeling of possibility and complacency I’d authorized myself to establish in Vietnam. I stated sure to all the things that crossed my path. I don’t forget possessing a discussion with a further expat about the kind of males I was intrigued in, and I replied: I’m intrigued in men who are interested in me. No ponder I identified myself in an psychological abusive circumstance. Appreciate bombing, gaslighting, ignoring purple flags, intermittent reinforcement, command and manipulation — this romance experienced it all.
I ended it right after 10 months of experience like I was going nuts. Luckily, I didn’t go mad. But I did create about it. And this is my story. It’s a mini-memoir written from two perspectives: prior to I identified my seemingly form and trusted companion was a covert narcissist – and right after, when I realised how destructive and unsafe my boyfriend was. It is a 1st hand account of how covert narcissists imagine, their qualities and the harmful results of narcissism, manipulation and coercive command on your spirit.
Prologue: The Covert Narcissist’s Playbook
In June of 2019, virtually three yrs right after I arrived in Hanoi, I satisfied a person. He was significantly young than me, handsome – and Vietnamese.
I was coming off the back again of a devastating and baffling split-up and had been single for 3 months. This person, although young than I, appeared to have a maturity outside of his many years. As our marriage progressed, he appeared attentive, sort and reliable.
It was all a ploy, an act, a charade.
His supreme intention was to lure me and then wipe out me.
He was a covert narcissist.
It took me 10 months to realise what was likely on. Ten months of pure, nightmarish hell. Ten months the place I was emotionally abused. I knew a little something was not ideal, but I couldn’t place my finger on it.
It was his styles. In the conclude they couldn’t be disregarded, and noticing them is what saved me.
You can get it on Amazon listed here.